Where’s the cheese, Eurovision?

One question, Eurovision. Why so serious? All these years, you’ve been so gloriously chintzy, with your sappy songs and your wind machines and your over-the-top costumes and your out-of-step dancers and your quest to corner the world sequins market. But this year, there was a distinct lack of cheese. The homage to fromage was notably…

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Australia rocks the Eurovision stage

Back in February, when it was announced Australia would make its Eurovision debut, even I didn’t fancy our chances. Not that we weren’t good enough or couldn’t bling it. This is after all the land of Peter Allen, Dame Edna Everage, Kylie Minogue and Baz Luhrmann. We know our way around a sequin. But, not…

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Drop everything: we’re in Eurovision!

When considering the pros and cons of living in Australia, about the only negative that has ever sprung to mind is that, because of where our girt-by-sea land sits on the world map, we could never be in Eurovision. We could look at the smorgasbord of cheese on offer each year — the Irish Guinness…

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Eurovision: It’s not over till the bearded lady sings

As Austria’s Conchita Wurst belted out her Eurovision power ballad Rise Like A Phoenix, the Twittersphere lit up with calls for the song to feature in the next Bond movie. And why not? It has all the required elements. Rousing lyrics, a soaring melody, dramatic instrumentation. But let’s not stop there. Why not make Conchita…

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Disturbing developments at Eurovision

When you turn on the telly and see men in skirts, a lesbo pash, a lot of mediocre dancing, mullet dresses a go-go and acres of big hair, it can only mean one thing now that Big Brother’s no longer on the air. But from the outset, there was something faintly disturbing about this year’s Eurovision….

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