Where’s the cheese, Eurovision?

One question, Eurovision. Why so serious? All these years, you’ve been so gloriously chintzy, with your sappy songs and your wind machines and your over-the-top costumes and your out-of-step dancers and your quest to corner the world sequins market. But this year, there was a distinct lack of cheese. The homage to fromage was notably…

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The Oscars: a game of peek-a-boob

The most gratifying thing about the Oscars is that no matter how rich or famous or good looking a person might be, or how many hot and cold running stylists and designers they have at their beck and call, they can still stuff up royally on the red carpet. Exhibit A. Heidi Klum. A model….

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Do you have Christmas brain?

Reader’s request Last week I turned up at a Christmas party. There was no one there. Not because it was a dud party but because I was a day early. The thing is, I knew about a hundred metres from the venue that I’d be turning up to an empty room. In that pre-party calm…

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Turning 50

I reached my half century yesterday. I’ll admit it hasn’t been the most technically brilliant innings. It’s had a bit of the Glenn Maxwells about it — a lot of air swings and inside out shots while going for the big hits. It has on occasion lacked discipline, like a young Dave Warner; elegance, like…

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Put out your onions

It’s shaping as your average Monday. A quiet start to the week and, in the evening, a high-fibre diet of televisual roughage served by the ABC. In walks the Communications Minister, fittingly, to shake up the schedule. Except he’s not the Communications Minister any more. He’s challenging the Prime Minister for his job. With that…

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Reader’s request: The Trump Show

I know what you’re thinking. This is a sports blog. So why am I getting into the murky waters of the Republican presidential nomination? A few reasons. A reader asked me to and I’m very obliging. Plus, the Don is not without his sporting connections. And try telling any writer with an eye for humour…

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Australia rocks the Eurovision stage

Back in February, when it was announced Australia would make its Eurovision debut, even I didn’t fancy our chances. Not that we weren’t good enough or couldn’t bling it. This is after all the land of Peter Allen, Dame Edna Everage, Kylie Minogue and Baz Luhrmann. We know our way around a sequin. But, not…

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In search of the Anzac spirit

My patchwork travels have taken me to several places writ large by war. Gallipoli, a place of surprising beauty which, like much of the Turkish coastline, would probably have been a tourist resort were it not for the horrors of a century ago that deem it sacred turf. Kokoda, eleven days of hell. Let’s just…

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The Oscars: Return of the Y-fronts

Thirty-three years after Risky Business and the white Y-front has made a blazing Hollywood comeback, courtesy of Michael Keaton’s ballsy Birdman outing, director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu’s revelation that he had worn his ‘tighty whities’ to the Oscars and Neil Patrick Harris’ semi-nude hosting performance. But it wasn’t the worst thing the night offered. Read on…

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And the Oscar might go to…

I’m trying something new for this year’s Oscars predictions. I’m flying blind. Because for the first time EVER, I’ve seen barely any of the nominated movies. Well, until last night when I farmed the kid out for a sleepover and binged on The Imitation Game AND American Sniper. So here goes nothing. My tips are…

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Drop everything: we’re in Eurovision!

When considering the pros and cons of living in Australia, about the only negative that has ever sprung to mind is that, because of where our girt-by-sea land sits on the world map, we could never be in Eurovision. We could look at the smorgasbord of cheese on offer each year — the Irish Guinness…

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Thank God for girlfriends

Sydney in January is fantastic. For a start, most of the people who live here bugger off on holidays. Apart from the one million people who converge on the harbour for the new year fireworks, you practically have the joint to yourself. It’s a month of beach and barbecues. Even if you’re not so inclined,…

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