The Olympics opening ceremony. An opportunity for the host city to showcase those things that set it apart. So Rio’s extravaganza will feature Gisele Bundchen getting mugged. At least that’s the story that emerged from people who saw a dress rehearsal and were asked to keep quiet about it and didn’t. In that version of…
Category: Friday Funnies
Don’t mess with Mr Bigglesworth
Rio’s Olympic organisers thought they’d seen the worst that circumstances could throw at them. Then they came face to face with Kitty Chiller. Australia’s chef de mission bears a passing resemblance to Mr Bigglesworth, Dr Evil’s cryogenically frozen cat of Austin Powers fame. And can be just as scary if suitably provoked. Which she was…
You’re not in the same league, Eddie
The big question for me this week has been: is there a bigger plonker on the planet than Eddie McGuire? Turns out there is. Meet ESPN sports commentator Stephen A. Smith, a bloke who makes Eddie, with his let’s-drown-a-female-journo-like-it’s-Salem-in-the-1600s, look like a feminist. When NFL star Ray Rice knocked out his partner in an Atlanta…
A new Low in scratch ‘n’ sniff
We’d barely recovered from the sight of former Aussie prime minister Kevin Rudd eating his ear wax on a lazy day in Parliament. Then Germany’s soccer coach did this. Joachim Low has apologised for the tug and sniff manoeuvre he pulled off during his team’s Euro 2016 win over Ukraine. “It was adrenaline and concentration….
Long jumper freezes out the Zika threat
You’re an Olympic champion keen to defend your title. But you’re worried the Zika virus might harm your future procreation plans. What do you do? You freeze your sperm, of course. While Zika has prompted a number of athletes to pull the pin on Rio altogether, 2012 Olympic long jump champion Greg Rutherford has discovered…
All stops to Loserville
It was a week for throwing away certain victories, Dutch cyclist Steven Kruijswijk most of all. Three minutes in front going into the final weekend of the Giro d’Italia, all he had to do was stay on the bike. Then this happened. The mishap paved the way for Vincenzo Nibali, struck down with dysentery days…
Trump tries sports diplomacy. Fails.
Donald Trump tried to be nice to someone this week. It went spectacularly wrong. Trying to thank Colin Montgomerie for playing at one of his golf courses, Trump unwittingly trolled the Scottish golfer. @montgomeriefdn Colin, great to have you at Trump Turnberry. So proud of you and your GREAT playing! You made winning MAJORS look…
Whistle blower admits Russia full of dopes
When it comes to doping, the Russians make Lance Armstrong look like a weekend pill popper. As the World Anti-Doping Agency decides whether Russia can compete at Rio, the bloke who ran Russia’s anti-doping lab has spilled the beans on a systemic doping program that operated during the Sochi Olympics. Here’s how it worked. Dope…
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