Try this exercise. Take your first and last names, put a ‘the’ in front of them and a ‘brand’ at the end. See if you can say those four words without sounding like a tosser. Can’t do it, right? Now look at this announcement made last month by the world’s third highest paid athlete. Long…
Tag: Tour de France
Cycling still full of dopes
We’re halfway through the Tour de France and so far the toll is a stack of crashes, torn lycra, scrapes and broken bones. Plus one rider busted for cocaine and one for EPO. Now bikes are being randomly checked for hidden motors inside the frames. That’s right, mechanical doping is said to be the latest…
We need to talk about Shane
In recent weeks, we’ve seen some gutsy stuff from a number of Aussie sportspeople. Surfer Sally Fitzgibbons burst an eardrum in the second round of the Fiji Pro. No problem. She bandaged up her head, ignored doctors’ orders and went out and won the title. Basketballer Matthew Dellavedova played himself into the ground for the…
July sports marathon too much for some
July. It’s the best month on the sporting calendar. There’s Wimbledon. Le Tour. Often a World Cup of some description. And this year there’s the Ashes as well. For some, it’s a little too much. At Wimbledon, the Duchess of Cornwall didn’t look that thrilled to be going home with one of Andy Murray’s sweaty…
When superheroes retire
In recent days, we’ve been shown a variety of ways to negotiate the twilight of a stellar sports career. I’m going to focus on three: the Fred Astaire for enduring grace and dignity, the Brian Meeker for reasons that shall become obvious and the Honey Boo Boo, for sheer search-and-destroy precociousness. The Fred Astaire: This…
Are you trying to kill me, sport?
I’m not silly. I know being an elite athlete is about the worst thing you can do to your body. Strange as it may seem, all that fitness really isn’t good for you. So I’ve opted for what I thought was a much safer pursuit as a couch potato. Over the years, I’ve swum world…
Reinstating Armstrong a dopey idea
One of the more bizarre stories of the past few days is that 12 former Tour de France winners — just under half of the 25 still living — think Lance Armstrong should get his seven ‘titles’ back. Which is about as laughable as the Wolf of Wall St, Jordan Belfort, reinventing himself as an…
The hard men of the peloton
With the World Cup over, all that’s left to be revealed is whether Holland’s Arjen Robben will be made an honorary Italian for his diving prowess or if Russia can blow more money in four years’ time than the $51 billion it spent on the Sochi Olympics. As the Brazilians bid farewell to the remaining…
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