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July. It’s the best month on the sporting calendar. There’s Wimbledon. Le Tour. Often a World Cup of some description. And this year there’s the Ashes as well.
For some, it’s a little too much. At Wimbledon, the Duchess of Cornwall didn’t look that thrilled to be going home with one of Andy Murray’s sweaty wrist bands.
Then there’s this postie, who encountered a Tour de France roadblock on his route. Fellow cyclists they may be but there’s no way a bunch of blokes in lycra is going to keep him from his work.
But his dummy spit looks tame in comparison to what Bernard Tomic dished up at a Wimbledon post-match press conference.
Bernie had just earned $77,000 in a week, more than the average Aussie makes in a year, and was complaining about how he’d been forced to pay for court hire.
It was heart-wrenching stuff and earned him a lot of sympathy on social media.
For his rant against Tennis Australia and everyone associated with it, Bernie earned himself a seat on the sidelines for next week’s Davis Cup tie against Kazakhstan.
Or maybe he could use the time to update his website bio, which hasn’t been touched in four years, is stuck in the time warp of his junior tennis glories and still lists Lance Armstrong as one of his heroes.
There were some other ripper Wimbledon press conferences this week.
After golfer Rory McIlroy did his ankle playing soccer with some mates and announced he wouldn’t play the British Open, one journo thought it’d be a good idea to ask his ex, Caroline Wozniacki, for her thoughts on the matter.
This was just minutes after she’d been knocked out of Wimbledon.
So, here are her thoughts.
Still, it’s better than the journo who asked Tomas Berdych how he felt to be going to the Wimbledon quarter-finals.
A fairly straight forward question, except Berdych had just been beaten by Gilles Simon in straight sets and wasn’t going anywhere except Heathrow.
Continuing on the theme of media management, US presidential ‘hopeful’ Donald Trump makes his Friday Funnies debut following his recent targeting of Mexican immigrants in his campaign speeches.
Cue the stampede of organisations severing ties with the billionaire who wants to run United States Inc.
Among them is the PGA which, despite Trump being one of the biggest investors in the game, has decided not to hold this year’s Grand Slam of Golf at his Los Angeles course.
Is Don bovvered by the recent unfriendings? You be the judge.
And finally, the head of football’s ‘governing’ body, Sepp Blatter, has revealed he’s going to heaven. Just not right now.
“I believe I will go to heaven one day,” he says. “But I believe there is no hell. I disagree with the Pope on that.”
He also disagrees with anyone who thinks he’s corrupt.
“Anybody who calls me corrupt because FIFA is corrupt, I can only shake my head,” he says. “Everybody who says something like that should go to jail.”
So, I guess I’ll see you all in the slammer.