I’m trying something new for this year’s Oscars predictions. I’m flying blind. Because for the first time EVER, I’ve seen barely any of the nominated movies. Well, until last night when I farmed the kid out for a sleepover and binged on The Imitation Game AND American Sniper.

So here goes nothing. My tips are highlighted below in Oscars gold. Which looks kind of orange, but anyway.

Leave your tips and comments in the, um, comments section. The reader with the most correct picks gets a shout-out on kazblah. Really, what more could you want?

Best Picture

American Sniper

Birdman 

Boyhood

The Grand Budapest Hotel

The Imitation Game

Selma

The Theory of Everything

Whiplash

This seems to be a battle of the B’s, though I wouldn’t be surprised to see American Sniper quietly knock off its rivals at the last minute.

In the tussle between Birdman and Boyhood, well I’ve never been a huge fan of Richard Linklater’s work, unless I’m having trouble getting to sleep. It took 12 years to make Boyhood. My mum reckons it takes about that long to watch it. So I’m giving it to Birdman. 

Best Director

Wes Anderson – The Grand Budapest Hotel

Alejandro González Iñárritu – Birdman

Richard Linklater – Boyhood

Bennett Miller – Foxcatcher

Morten Tyldum – The Imitation Game

Sing it, Gaga.

Best Actor

Steve Carell – Foxcatcher

Bradley Cooper – American Sniper

Benedict Cumberbatch – The Imitation Game

Michael Keaton – Birdman

Eddie Redmayne – The Theory of Everything

Eddie Redmayne seems to be the bookies’ favourite but I see this one more as a stoush between Keaton and Cooper.Keaton, because the Academy loves a career comeback, and Cooper, because he’s been nominated three times running and has to win some time. And he has lovely eyes.

But Keaton’s was the braver performance. I mean, walking through Times Square in socks and y-fronts? Seriously, give the man an Oscar.

Best Actress

Marion Cotillard – Two Days, One Night

Felicity Jones – The Theory of Everything

Julianne Moore – Still Alice

Rosamund Pike – Gone Girl

Reese Witherspoon – Wild

I watched Gone Girl and fell asleep on the couch. So I can’t see Rosamund Pike winning for such a dreary flick.

With her fifth nomination, Julianne Moore is the unbackable favourite to pick up her first Oscar. So I’m backing her. Even though she’s unbackable. A bit like Black Caviar in the day.

I’m picking it’ll be a good speech too.

Best Supporting Actor

Robert Duvall – The Judge

Ethan Hawke – Boyhood

Edward Norton – Birdman

Mark Ruffalo – Foxcatcher

J. K. Simmons – Whiplash

I know I’ve used this clip before but J.K. Simmons delivered one of the best lines in cinema history with his “What a clusterf*ck” in Burn After Reading. So he should win.

Best Supporting Actress

Patricia Arquette – Boyhood

Laura Dern – Wild

Keira Knightley – The Imitation Game

Emma Stone – Birdman

Meryl Streep – Into the Woods

Meryl, though amazing in Into the Woods, has won more Oscars than I’ve had peppermint Magnums. So I’m throwing Boyhood a bone, in what I anticipate will be an otherwise lean evening for Team Linklater, and handing this one to Patricia Arquette.

Original Screenplay

Birdman – Alejandro González Iñárritu et al

Boyhood – Richard Linklater

Foxcatcher – E. Max Frye and Dan Futterman

The Grand Budapest Hotel – Wes Anderson and Hugo Guinness

Nightcrawler – Dan Gilroy

Grand Budapest was very original. Very.

Adapted Screenplay

American Sniper – Jason Hall

The Imitation Game – Graham Moore

Inherent Vice – Paul Thomas Anderson

The Theory of Everything – Anthony McCarten

Whiplash – Damien Chazelle

The Imitation Game. Because, you know, adapted… imitation. See what I did there?

Best Animated Feature Film

Big Hero 6

The Boxtrolls

How to Train Your Dragon 2

Song of the Sea

The Tale of the Princess Kaguya

As a parent, it’d be fair to assume I’ve seen most of these movies. Nup. Not one. Or even the Lego Movie, which is oddly not nominated. I’m guessing the dragon trainers will fire up this category.

And sound effect, please.

 

Best Foreign Language Film

Ida (Poland)

Leviathan (Russia)

Tangerines (Estonia)

Timbuktu (Mauritania)

Wild Tales (Argentina)

Under the circumstances, you’d think a Russian film has a snowflake’s chance in Florida of taking this award. EXCEPT, Leviathan is widely considered an anti-Putin flick, especially in the Kremlin, and only got screen time in its home country after 1.5 million Russians downloaded it illegally. So I’m thinking it could win as an up yours to Vlad.

Best Documentary – Feature

Citizenfour 

Finding Vivian Maier

Last Days in Vietnam

The Salt of the Earth

Virunga

Citizenfour is the codename Edward Snowden gave himself when he blew the lid on US spying practices.

Reminds me of petit four.

Which are delicious.

But I digress.

Best Documentary – Short Subject

Crisis Hotline: Veterans Press 1

Joanna

Our Curse

The Reaper

White Earth

In my highly scientific approach to this category, I’m going with the most interesting title. Which ain’t Joanna. 

Best Live Action Short Film

Aya

Boogaloo and Graham

Butter Lamp

Parvaneh

The Phone Call 

Equally clueless here, so I’ll continue with the phone theme.

And let’s have a word from Blondie.

Best Animated Short Film

The Bigger Picture

The Dam Keeper

Feast

Me and My Moulton

A Single Life

I love that a short film is called The Bigger Picture.

Best Original Score

The Grand Budapest Hotel 

The Imitation Game

Interstellar

Mr. Turner

The Theory of Everything

For the love of a semi-quaver, can someone PLEASE give Alexandre Desplat a freaking Oscar.

He’s been nominated eight times, people — EIGHT — for a grand haul of absolutely nothing.

This year he’s nominated twice, for Grand Budapest and Imitation Game. So he probably stands a good chance of splitting his own vote.

Amal Clooney should also have been nominated here.

Best Original Song

Everything Is Awesome from The Lego Movie

Glory from Selma

Grateful from Beyond the Lights

I’m Not Gonna Miss You from Glen Campbell: I’ll Be Me

Lost Stars from Begin Again

Voting with my heart here. Glen Campbell’s I’m Not Gonna Miss You, about his descent into Alzheimer’s, is one of the most beautiful, raw and original songs I’ve ever heard. If the Lego Movie wins, I’ll do my nut.

Best Sound Editing

American Sniper 

Birdman

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Interstellar

Unbroken

I usually go for the one with the most gunfire. I’m guessing that’d be American Sniper.

Best Sound Mixing

American Sniper 

Birdman

Interstellar

Unbroken

Whiplash

Same criteria as above.

Please be warned I tend to come undone in the techy categories.

And this is our last opportunity for a gratuitous shot of Bradley Cooper.

Hardly gonna let that go to waste…

Best Production Design

The Grand Budapest Hotel

The Imitation Game

Interstellar

Into the Woods

Mr. Turner

This category favours over the topness. Basically pick the one that most resembles a Eurovision number. Which would be Grand Budapest Hotel.

Best Cinematography

Birdman

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Ida

Mr. Turner

Unbroken

Birdman will fly the coop with this one. Get it?

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

Foxcatcher

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Guardians of the Galaxy

Stuffed if I know.

Best Costume Design

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Inherent Vice

Into the Woods

Maleficent

Mr. Turner

GBH is a no-brainer, surely.

I mean, look at it.

Best Film Editing

American Sniper

Boyhood 

The Grand Budapest Hotel

The Imitation Game

Whiplash

Twelve years of footage. I’m thinking there’s a fair bit of editing in Boyhood. Hope you’re able to keep up with my complicated technical analysis.

Best Visual Effects

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Guardians of the Galaxy

Interstellar

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Best to go with something galactic here. Which doesn’t rule out a whole lot, to be honest.

Don’t forget to leave your tips. 

Fame and fortune up for grabs.