Can things get any worse for Rio?

Brazil’s economy is tanking more than Bernie Tomic, the country’s infested with Zika-bearing mozzies, the water’s putrid and a stack of Olympics-related construction won’t make the deadline. Now, less than three months out, Brazil has just lost its president to a corruption scandal, with Dilma Rousseff suspended while she faces trial for creative budget accounting….

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What World Twenty20?

Virat bloody Kohli. He sledges like an Aussie, so much so he could probably earn an honorary place in our team. But in his latest outing, he let his bat do all the talking. It was a lethal conversation, at the end of which Australia was no longer in the World Twenty20. Since then, we’ve…

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Gentlemen, start your motor mouths

It’s taken 15 years for the Indian Wells tennis tournament to put a racism row behind it. With the Williams sisters ending their boycotts, the tournament was finally able to shake the memories of Serena being booed throughout the 2001 final and trophy presentation. It was a moment to celebrate. Then tournament boss Raymond Moore…

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Sepp’s silent treatment

Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned. It’s been seven weeks since my last mention of Septic Bladder. Not since New Year’s Day has he graced these pages, when we reported the heartbreaking end of his 17-year love affair with soccer’s ‘governing body’ with the haunting words, “I now no longer fight for FIFA”. Still…

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Santa spills the beans

In a special treat for our readers, we have obtained a rare interview with Santa as he prepares to harness the reindeer for his annual global pilgrimage. Perhaps due to lack of sleep or an excess of Mrs Claus’ famous eggnog, Santa has blown the lid on some of the more unusual requests he has…

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Teammates who can’t stand each other

We’ve all been there. At some point in our careers, we’ve had to endure the colleague from hell. That person you can’t click with but somehow have to work with. In most cases, you grin and bear it, right? Unless you’re Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg. Watch these two handle a simple question about whether…

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Turning 50

I reached my half century yesterday. I’ll admit it hasn’t been the most technically brilliant innings. It’s had a bit of the Glenn Maxwells about it — a lot of air swings and inside out shots while going for the big hits. It has on occasion lacked discipline, like a young Dave Warner; elegance, like…

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Would the last person to leave FIFA please turn out the light?

Here’s a picture of FIFA’s executive boardroom. Yes, it would probably be right at home on a Star Trek set. But the point is, it’s empty. You see, after a night of the long knives wielded by FIFA’s ethics committee (sorry, that phrase still cracks me up), there’s no one left to run the joint….

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Welcome to New York, Mr Trump

While the algal tide that is Donald Trump continues to sweep America, we can take comfort that there’s one place at least that’s not rolling out the red carpet. In his home town of New York, they hate his guts, if his reception at the US Open is any indication. Familiarity breeds contempt, it seems….

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When 3,000 naked cyclists photobomb your wedding

What do you do when you collapse on a golf course and apparently stop breathing for three minutes? Well, you clamber out of your hospital bed, put on a pair of your loudest duds and turn up to play the following day smoking a cigarette. John Daly wasn’t about to let a pesky little lung…

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The Ashes blame game

There wasn’t that much cricket, just eighteen days in all So we’ve taken up another sport in lieu of bat and ball Our batsmen forced our hands, for they just refused to linger And here begins the game called Let’s Point the Ashes Finger. *** The rot set in when Pup announced he’s hanging up…

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Cycling still full of dopes

We’re halfway through the Tour de France and so far the toll is a stack of crashes, torn lycra, scrapes and broken bones. Plus one rider busted for cocaine and one for EPO. Now bikes are being randomly checked for hidden motors inside the frames. That’s right, mechanical doping is said to be the latest…

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