Catch him if you can

The crowd sentiment was clear. They all wanted Bolt to win. And if he couldn’t, anyone but Cheaty McCheatface.

Before the race, Bolt was cheered. The runner formerly known as Justin Gatlin was booed. He wasn’t happy.

“My (drugs) issue was over a decade ago,” he lamented later.

But here’s the thing, Cheaty. It’s a trust issue. You’ve been done not once but twice for doping. You know what they say. Fool me once… Actually, I’ll leave it to Dubya to explain.

A smidge under 10 seconds later and we had our fairytale ending. Bolt had the three-peat and his place in history. If we had a drink for every time Bruce McAvaney said ‘a race for the ages’, we’d all still be drunk.

Gingerbread man
Run, run, run, as fast as you can…

Not bad for a bloke who began his career never intending to run the 100 metres. Years ago, when his coach told the 200-metre specialist to diversify, Bolt chose the shortest distance on offer rather than step up to the 400 metres.

On his victory lap yesterday, Bolt embraced South African runner Wayde van Niekerk, who’d just blitzed the field in the 400 metres, breaking Michael Johnson’s 17-year world record in the process. And all from track 8, running’s equivalent of Alcatraz.

No medals for the Aussies in the past 24 hours and chef de mission Mr Bigglesworth admits it will be hard for us to achieve a top five finish.

Anna Meares bowed out in the women’s sprint cycling, drawing an end to her prodigious Olympic career. “I hope Australia’s enjoyed the ride,” she said tearfully. You bet your life we have.

Both our hockey teams have been eliminated, the first time since 1984 that we haven’t won a medal in that sport.

But I reckon if we join forces with the other green and gold nations — Jamaica, Brazil and South Africa — our tally begins to look more respectable.

In the meantime, we’ll be relying on our sailors, as we did on London, to embrace their inner pirate and plunder the seas for bling.

Aussie sets unlikely record

Aussie badminton player Sawan Serasinghe is letting it all hang out now competition is out of the way.

“Now it’s time to eat some junk food after months of eating clean!” he said.

For the record, and it must be some kind of record for a solo Maccas run, Sawan bought six burgers, six large fries, six brownies, and 40 chicken nuggets.

If only binge eating was an Olympic sport.

Blub of the day

The tennis has produced some terrific blubs over the past week and yesterday’s gold medal match turned into a complete blubfest with Andy Murray and Juan Martin del Potro both turning on the waterworks.

A blub contagion also at the gymnastics after Brazil won silver and bronze in the men’s floor competition.

That’s the spirit

These Games, instead of flowers or a stuffed toy with the medals, athletes have had to content themselves with something that looks suspiciously like a plastic toy you get with a McHappy meal.

But this girl got to take home an athlete. For the rest of her life.

D’oh!

A few days before the Games, Rio mayor Eduardo Paes declared: “I think it’s going to be the safest place in the world to come in August.”

He might want to revise that assessment after US gold medalist Ryan Lochte was held up and robbed at gunpoint.

As a result of the attack, the Aussie team pretty much has an early bedtime, banned from Rio’s best night spots for their own safety.

And has anyone got a spare pontoon? Because the one they were planning to use for the marathon swimming has, um, ended up on the beach.

On top of that, an aerial camera at Olympic Park has collapsed, injuring a couple of spectators.

And the mountain bike racing has had to be called off because of a nearby bushfire.

I bet Rio spokesman Mario Andrada can’t wait for the Games to be over.

Now for something completely different

Think golf is boring? Watch Henrik Stenson poke an alligator.

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