Did aliens steal Spieth’s Masters mojo?

Much to English cricketer Ben Stokes’ relief, Jordan Spieth has been the talk of the sporting world this week. In particular, how he squandered a five-stroke lead and an almost certain US Masters victory in one hole. It was a novel way of marking the 20th anniversary of Greg Norman’s epic Masters choke, when he…

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Abbott’s hardline surfing policy

You’re 17 years old. You’re surfing at Noosa Heads. It’s Easter. The last thing on your mind is politics. And then some dude drops in on your wave, the cardinal sin of surfing. He’s wet-suited like a seal, also marginal behaviour in these balmy Autumn waters. It’s your former Prime Minister, Tony Abbott. While she…

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Gentlemen, start your motor mouths

It’s taken 15 years for the Indian Wells tennis tournament to put a racism row behind it. With the Williams sisters ending their boycotts, the tournament was finally able to shake the memories of Serena being booed throughout the 2001 final and trophy presentation. It was a moment to celebrate. Then tournament boss Raymond Moore…

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FIFA plays the victim card

You’ve got to hand it to FIFA. Soccer’s ‘governing’ body has finally admitted that World Cups have been bought with bribes. But only because there might be a buck in it. In perhaps its most brazen step to date, which is saying something, FIFA is claiming ‘victimised institution’ status and seeking restitution from the US…

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Sharapova’s Cinderella story unravels

When Maria Sharapova alerted the media she was making a ‘major announcement’, most of the speculation was that she was about to retire. And she kind of was. The Cinderella story of the world’s richest sportswoman has quickly unravelled since she revealed she flunked a drug test. When the clock struck midnight, that was the…

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Rio, we have a problem

First up, this week’s roll call of disaster from Rio de Janiero. With Olympics tickets selling slower than a Sunday driver, Rio Mayor Eduardo Paes has told spectators not to bother buying tickets to the rowing. “Do not spend your money on this,” he says. “Go watch at the border of the lagoon, drinking your…

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Sepp Blatter: why I’m innocent

Septic Bladder broke a two-month silence this week after appealing to FIFA to lift his eight-year ban from footy. And it was gold. “I have killed nobody, I have not robbed a bank, I have not taken any money from anywhere,” he said, providing a less than persuasive character reference on his own behalf. Then…

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Sepp’s silent treatment

Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned. It’s been seven weeks since my last mention of Septic Bladder. Not since New Year’s Day has he graced these pages, when we reported the heartbreaking end of his 17-year love affair with soccer’s ‘governing body’ with the haunting words, “I now no longer fight for FIFA”. Still…

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Warnie’s 17-year grudge

I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! isn’t usually the place you turn to for breaking news. But for some reason, Shane Warne’s been spilling his guts in the latest Aussie season of the show. Maybe he’s sleep deprived, or snacking on too many bugs, or threatened by all the attention Laurina’s getting. Whatever…

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Australia’s answer to the Zika virus

A global emergency has been declared, women in certain countries are being told not to get pregnant and an Indian car company has had to rename a new vehicle originally dubbed the Zica. But Australian athletes can rest easy. As they prepare to enter the Zika hot zone of the Rio Olympics, the Australian Olympic…

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When watching tennis physically hurts

Let’s be honest. The changing of the men’s tennis guard happened some time ago but we’ve all been in denial. A bit like Eric Abetz about his new boss. Whenever Roger Federer takes the court against Novak Djokovic, we still want to believe it’s 2006. So this is how we felt about the first two…

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Farewell Lleyton

We’d primed ourselves for an epic finish in the wee small hours. But it was not to be. Just before 10pm on Thursday night, the curtain closed on Lleyton Hewitt’s stellar tennis playing career. It was not the five-set marathon that has defined so much of the past two decades. David Ferrer had his measure…

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