Man punches shark

Aussie mums to be, throw away the baby name books. There are only two  you need to know. Mick and Mitch. Call your child either one of these, even if it’s a girl, and they’ll grow up to be a be a dead set legend. Exhibit A: Mick Fanning Sees off Kelly Slater in the…

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Cycling still full of dopes

We’re halfway through the Tour de France and so far the toll is a stack of crashes, torn lycra, scrapes and broken bones. Plus one rider busted for cocaine and one for EPO. Now bikes are being randomly checked for hidden motors inside the frames. That’s right, mechanical doping is said to be the latest…

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To sledge or not to sledge

It all starts when Dave Warner says wistfully he wants to tone things down in the backchat department. Go for it mate, says Captain Clarke. No one asked you to be an arsehole anyway. Let’s make the whole Ashes campaign sledge-free, says Jimmy Anderson, unravelling himself from the lotus position. That series we played against…

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I’m an English cricketer. Get me out of here!

Scene: The middle of nowhere. PETER MOORES sits on a log in front of a campfire, frowning, a spreadsheet on his lap. Ten men emerge from the bushes in dirty cricket whites. They reach the campfire and slump to the ground. One starts burning a cricket bat to keep them all warm. JAMES ANDERSON: What…

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Friday funnies

Last week, we experienced a celestial double whammy — a full moon and, at five minutes, the shortest total lunar eclipse of the century. But we didn’t need to look to the heavens to know things were out of whack. Here on Planet Earth there have been some strange happenings in the field of play….

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When superheroes retire

In recent days, we’ve been shown a variety of ways to negotiate the twilight of a stellar sports career. I’m going to focus on three: the Fred Astaire for enduring grace and dignity, the Brian Meeker for reasons that shall become obvious and the Honey Boo Boo, for sheer search-and-destroy precociousness. The Fred Astaire: This…

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The Ashes: The sweetest victory of all

In one of the more celebrated moments in Australian political history, Opposition Leader John Hewson innocuously asked Prime Minister Paul Keating why he wouldn’t call an early election. Keating fairly salivated before answering: “Because I want to do you slowly.” Above the ensuing hilarity, he continued: “There has to be a bit of sport in…

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