“Australia was a little bit offside.” Interviewed for the ABC TV program Played, this was how FIFA boss Septic Bladder explained Australia’s failed bid to host the 2022 World Cup. Which suggests Septic needs a crash course in the rules of soccer. Because you have to be on the actual field of play — and,…
Tag: FIFA World Cup
Would the last person to leave FIFA please turn out the light?
Here’s a picture of FIFA’s executive boardroom. Yes, it would probably be right at home on a Star Trek set. But the point is, it’s empty. You see, after a night of the long knives wielded by FIFA’s ethics committee (sorry, that phrase still cracks me up), there’s no one left to run the joint….
The killing fields of the Qatar World Cup
The 2022 FIFA World Cup will be held in a graveyard. Already an estimated 1,200 workers have died building Qatar’s World Cup stadiums and associated infrastructure. This number is expected to rise to 4,000 over the next seven years. Basically a worker a day. The International Trade Union Confederation compiled these numbers based on statistics…
Are you trying to kill me, sport?
I’m not silly. I know being an elite athlete is about the worst thing you can do to your body. Strange as it may seem, all that fitness really isn’t good for you. So I’ve opted for what I thought was a much safer pursuit as a couch potato. Over the years, I’ve swum world…
Who’ll take home the best World Cup hair award?
As David Beckham prepared for his recent Amazon travel documentary, wife Posh asked him what he was going to do with his hair in all that humidity. The countless exotic critters that could curtail hubby’s life — from Brazilian wandering spiders to poison dart frogs — seemed the least of her concern. Her greatest fear…
Minnows upset the World Cup apple cart
Let’s call them the Generation Y of the World Cup. They’re the teams that don’t know their place and have scant regard for the football hierarchy. Coming into the tournament, they were largely there to make up the numbers, evolve their skills and learn from the experience. Except they never got the memo. So, these…
Tim Cahill exits the World Cup stage
The headline said it all. “Australia Just Scored the Goal of the World Cup. Yes, Australia.” Until a few hours ago, it was hard to imagine anyone beating Robin van Persie’s flying Dutchman effort for goal of the tournament. And then Tim Cahill did this. It couldn’t have come at a better time. Just a…
Some free World Cup advice for England
Regular readers will know I’m not generally one for helping the English out of a pickle. One of my favourite pastimes as an irreverent Antipodean is thumbing my nose at the mother country, especially in all matters sport. Please see Exhibit A, B, C and D, otherwise known as my Ashes coverage. So if you’re…
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