His fiefdom is rife with corruption, he himself is under criminal investigation and two World Cup bids get stinkier by the day. But according to Vladimir Putin, this is all good reason for FIFA president Septic Bladder to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Yes, in Vlad’s mind, Septic deserves the same honour that has…
Tag: Kevin Pietersen
Turning 50
I reached my half century yesterday. I’ll admit it hasn’t been the most technically brilliant innings. It’s had a bit of the Glenn Maxwells about it — a lot of air swings and inside out shots while going for the big hits. It has on occasion lacked discipline, like a young Dave Warner; elegance, like…
All’s fair in love and rugby
When the Rugby world Cup comes around, it’s always good to make fun of the All Blacks when you can. Which turns out to be pretty easy when they’re playing away from home. The All Blacks have only claimed the Webb Ellis Cup when the tournament’s been played on their turf. And Japan’s shock win…
Battle of the boofheads
If we’ve discovered one thing from the Adam Goodes episode this week, it’s the dumbest person in Australia. It’s been a hotly contested tussle. Some of the comments put forward wouldn’t look out of place in a Miss Universe pageant. But from the primordial slime has emerged a clear winner. Come on down, Griffin McMaster….
English cricket and other maulings
You know you’re in trouble when former Aussie Prime Minister John Howard starts sledging you about your sporting prowess. The noted cricket tragic reckons England’s batsmen have a ‘psychological problem’ with the Aussie bowling attack, which has left them ‘just a little bit spooked’. Which is all true, of course. But it’s a bit rich…
To sledge or not to sledge
It all starts when Dave Warner says wistfully he wants to tone things down in the backchat department. Go for it mate, says Captain Clarke. No one asked you to be an arsehole anyway. Let’s make the whole Ashes campaign sledge-free, says Jimmy Anderson, unravelling himself from the lotus position. That series we played against…
I’m an English cricketer. Get me out of here!
Scene: The middle of nowhere. PETER MOORES sits on a log in front of a campfire, frowning, a spreadsheet on his lap. Ten men emerge from the bushes in dirty cricket whites. They reach the campfire and slump to the ground. One starts burning a cricket bat to keep them all warm. JAMES ANDERSON: What…
Is it wrong to be enjoying this so much?
You know that scene in Love, Actually when Laura Linney’s character gets the tall, dark, handsome colleague back to her place and ducks into an alcove to jump excitedly on the spot? That was me last night when England got bundled out of the Cricket World Cup. I’m not Robinson Crusoe on this one. Bagging…
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