The Ashes blame game

There wasn’t that much cricket, just eighteen days in all So we’ve taken up another sport in lieu of bat and ball Our batsmen forced our hands, for they just refused to linger And here begins the game called Let’s Point the Ashes Finger. *** The rot set in when Pup announced he’s hanging up…

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A Winter Olympics… with no snow

When the International Olympic Committee met last weekend to decide the host city for the 2022 Winter Games, it had a choice between two cities: one with snow and one without. But who needs snow, right? After all, the last Winter Olympics were held in the tropical slushie of Sochi. So Beijing got the nod….

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To sledge or not to sledge

It all starts when Dave Warner says wistfully he wants to tone things down in the backchat department. Go for it mate, says Captain Clarke. No one asked you to be an arsehole anyway. Let’s make the whole Ashes campaign sledge-free, says Jimmy Anderson, unravelling himself from the lotus position. That series we played against…

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How do we build on the legacy of these two men?

They were born almost 60 years apart, yet died within months of each other, both at the hands of the game they loved, one felled by a ball, the other by the long-term effects of not wearing a hat. Through that game, they are both forever linked to the number 63, one by virtue of…

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Cometh the hour…

When Michael Clarke announced Sunday’s World Cup final would be his last one-day international,  one New Zealand cricket writer accused him of hijacking the occasion. His name’s Jonathan Millmow. Yep, I’d never heard of him either. Millmow played for New Zealand for a nanosecond 25 years ago. He never made the Test team but took…

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The year in sport… in song

Who better than Miley Cyrus and the cast of Deliverance, among others, to recap some of the highlights — and lowlights — of the year in sport? Budget schmudget Vladimir Putin spent $US51 billion staging the Sochi Olympics, more than every other Winter Games combined. It wasn’t enough to adequately furnish the facilities, light up…

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The legacy of No. 408

I didn’t know Phil Hughes but I reckon he’d be gobsmacked by the global outpouring following his death. There have been condolences from the Queen, a mid-concert song dedication by Elton John, a Vatican Mass in his honour. Flags have flown at half-mast at cricket grounds from Sydney to London. Parliament was silent for one…

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The elephant in the room

              I hear that in a land of old Disaster’s struck the green and gold A two-Test flogging, so I’m told Don’t look at me to facts unfold I will not mention the cricket.   You cannot make me, I’ll resist No matter how much you persist This issue,…

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Watching sport through a Bachelor filter

If you’re looking for good comedy, it’s hard to go past The Bachelor, a game of romantic musical chairs where women compete for the affections of a serial snogger with the personality of a stick. This season he’s being played by a bloke called Blake. It may be all sorts of wrong but it’s hilarious….

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Aussie cricketers prove they’re no one-series wonder

The Third Test between Australia and South Africa was always going to be a grudge match to put the Reinhart family tiff in the shade. These two sides aren’t exactly at the top of each other’s Christmas card lists at the best of times. But in the course of this series, their volatile relationship has…

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Farewell from Sochi… but first, let’s rig the medal count

Something’s fishy. A little over a week ago, Russia was in eighth place on the Olympic medal tally. Sure, they bounced around a bit in the standings, hitting second place on a couple of occasions, but never once did they take the outright lead. Then, with less than 24 hours of the competition left, who…

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The Ashes: Do you smell something burning?

The thwack of bat on ball, the cries of ‘howizzeeeeeeee’, the soporific lull of the commentary. These are all sounds which, like the cicada’s never-ending mating call, have heralded Aussie summers of old. At some point in the last few years though, when thwack became the sound of Aussie wickets falling or our bowlers being…

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