Here are the six most stupid words uttered this week — and it’s not even something Donald Trump said. Nope, it’s Septic Bladder. Now, I know the president of soccer’s ‘governing’ body has said some dumb things in his time, from the tightness of women’s shorts to the possibility of World Cups with aliens, but…
Tag: The Ashes
The Ashes blame game
There wasn’t that much cricket, just eighteen days in all So we’ve taken up another sport in lieu of bat and ball Our batsmen forced our hands, for they just refused to linger And here begins the game called Let’s Point the Ashes Finger. *** The rot set in when Pup announced he’s hanging up…
Kyrgios has an absolute Barry Crocker
Forty odd years ago, before he started crooning the Neighbours theme song, Barry Crocker was the unlikely lead in an irreverent flick about an Aussie lad on the loose in England. In The Adventures of Barry McKenzie, Bazza cuts an ocker swathe through the local women and the poncy establishment, always with a can of Foster’s in his…
How to handle a gloating Pom
There’s no sugar coating this. Today is going to be hell in the office if you work with a Pom. Heaven help you if you’re an Aussie working in London. If that’s you, get the hell out of Dodge. At the very least, chuck a sickie or quit your job. But we don’t have to…
A Winter Olympics… with no snow
When the International Olympic Committee met last weekend to decide the host city for the 2022 Winter Games, it had a choice between two cities: one with snow and one without. But who needs snow, right? After all, the last Winter Olympics were held in the tropical slushie of Sochi. So Beijing got the nod….
Battle of the boofheads
If we’ve discovered one thing from the Adam Goodes episode this week, it’s the dumbest person in Australia. It’s been a hotly contested tussle. Some of the comments put forward wouldn’t look out of place in a Miss Universe pageant. But from the primordial slime has emerged a clear winner. Come on down, Griffin McMaster….
English cricket and other maulings
You know you’re in trouble when former Aussie Prime Minister John Howard starts sledging you about your sporting prowess. The noted cricket tragic reckons England’s batsmen have a ‘psychological problem’ with the Aussie bowling attack, which has left them ‘just a little bit spooked’. Which is all true, of course. But it’s a bit rich…
Man punches shark
Aussie mums to be, throw away the baby name books. There are only two you need to know. Mick and Mitch. Call your child either one of these, even if it’s a girl, and they’ll grow up to be a be a dead set legend. Exhibit A: Mick Fanning Sees off Kelly Slater in the…
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