We’re halfway through the Tour de France and so far the toll is a stack of crashes, torn lycra, scrapes and broken bones. Plus one rider busted for cocaine and one for EPO. Now bikes are being randomly checked for hidden motors inside the frames. That’s right, mechanical doping is said to be the latest…
Tag: The Ashes
We need to talk about Shane
In recent weeks, we’ve seen some gutsy stuff from a number of Aussie sportspeople. Surfer Sally Fitzgibbons burst an eardrum in the second round of the Fiji Pro. No problem. She bandaged up her head, ignored doctors’ orders and went out and won the title. Basketballer Matthew Dellavedova played himself into the ground for the…
To sledge or not to sledge
It all starts when Dave Warner says wistfully he wants to tone things down in the backchat department. Go for it mate, says Captain Clarke. No one asked you to be an arsehole anyway. Let’s make the whole Ashes campaign sledge-free, says Jimmy Anderson, unravelling himself from the lotus position. That series we played against…
Friday Funnies: Shane Warne expands his horizons
Americans, be warned. Lock up your daughters, wives, sisters, mothers, mistresses and blow-up dolls. Shane Warne is heading your way. In between lamenting that since joining Tinder women are always accusing him of impersonating Shane Warne, Warnie’s been busy teaming up with Sachin Tendulkar to crack the stubborn US market. They’ve assembled what the Sheikh…
I’m an English cricketer. Get me out of here!
Scene: The middle of nowhere. PETER MOORES sits on a log in front of a campfire, frowning, a spreadsheet on his lap. Ten men emerge from the bushes in dirty cricket whites. They reach the campfire and slump to the ground. One starts burning a cricket bat to keep them all warm. JAMES ANDERSON: What…
The Ashes: God save our Mo
There are so many ways we could begin today’s entry. Whitewash would be a good word to start with. Annihilation. Massacre. Humiliation. Thrashing. These are all excellent words and certainly apt for the occasion. Perhaps we could take a lead from the Barmy Army and break into song, with something subtle like ‘five-nil’ repeated over…
The Ashes: The sweetest victory of all
In one of the more celebrated moments in Australian political history, Opposition Leader John Hewson innocuously asked Prime Minister Paul Keating why he wouldn’t call an early election. Keating fairly salivated before answering: “Because I want to do you slowly.” Above the ensuing hilarity, he continued: “There has to be a bit of sport in…
The Ashes: We’ve urned it
Another Ashes Test, another easy win for Australia. This could get boring if our favourite national pastime wasn’t making Poms suffer. The drubbing has been so emphatic that a colleague not generally known for her tolerance of Englishmen on the sporting field admitted midway through day four to feeling strange pangs of sympathy for our…
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