What do you do when you collapse on a golf course and apparently stop breathing for three minutes?
Well, you clamber out of your hospital bed, put on a pair of your loudest duds and turn up to play the following day smoking a cigarette.
John Daly wasn’t about to let a pesky little lung collapse keep him down after passing out at the 18th hole at Deerfield Golf Club last weekend.
“They thought I had a heart attack,” he said.
“But I only smoke two packs of cigarettes a day, not three, so I’ll be alright.”
To be honest, no one thought John Daly would make it to the ripe old age of 49, a fact he seemed to acknowledge when he turned up at a pub gig singing this:
As the US Open got underway, Aussie tennis vaudeville act Nick Kyrgios says he’s learned a few things since his recent outburst against Stan Wawrinka. Mainly: “Keep your mouth shut at times.”
He’s come up with a novel way to avoid clashing with the umpire at the change of ends.
Meanwhile, Novak Djokovic insists on showing off his lack of dancing skills at every opportunity, putting on moves described by one commentator as ‘dad dancing’ after his first round win.
Great tennis player. Absolutely no sense of rhythm.
Over in Rio, there’s a growing stink about the Olympic venues for all the water sports not being held in a chlorinated pool. Largely because of all the poo in Guanabara Bay.
But Olympic organising committee president Carlos Nuzman assures us there’s nothing to worry about. The water will be ‘totally clean’ by the end of the year.
And the pigs are on the runway and ready for take-off.
How many ways can you stuff up covering a cricket match? Quite a few if you’re Channel Nine. First, the broadcaster decided to delay the coverage of the final women’s Ashes clash by 90 minutes.
Which meant their ‘live’ tweeting was also delayed. Which meant that when they tweeted about a ‘huge wicket’, they got this response.
Still, at least they showed the game. It isn’t always the case.
Also getting himself into a bit of hot water on Twitter was very recently retired Sri Lankan cricketer Kumar Sangakkara. Remember, he was the one whose dad wrote in a newspaper column had never lived up to his potential.
This week, Kumar’s fans were shocked when Kumar did something very un-Kumar-like and tweeted a photo of a penis. Or not. Turns out Kumar’s account was hacked. I blame his dad. Or Donald Trump.
But no one was making a bigger dick of themselves than Shane Watson, yet again, with this glorious dismissal in the T20 international against the Poms.
It’s all gold, right down to the ‘darn it’ flick of the hand after the bails fall off.
Yep, here’s what that looks like. And points to the happy couple for getting into the spirit of things.
Here’s what that looks like. The riders would definitely have been out of their saddles for these gradients.
Have a good weekend everyone. Try to stay in the saddle.