Reader’s request: how to be a world champion

You’ve seen in the new year and made the usual resolutions to eat less, exercise more and give up all your vices. Seriously, where’s the fun in that? How about branching out a bit? Why not become a world champion? I’m not talking about turning yourself into the next Usain Bolt or Serena Williams. That…

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This is still our Sydney

It’s Monday morning and I’m running late. Walking late. It’s twenty minutes to ten when I turn left from Phillip St into Martin Place. I don’t look at the Lindt cafe as I pass. My eyes are focused on the Channel Seven news ticker. I can’t remember now what it says but I’m sure Michael…

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Sports pursuits for our G20 visitors

Dear world leaders. Welcome to Australia. I will be your sports concierge during your G20 visit. Any sport you’d like to see or try, to take your mind off the weighty problems of the world, I’m your guy. For those of you with tickets to the much hyped Shirtfront Showdown between Tony ‘The Duke’ Abbott…

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Eurovision: It’s not over till the bearded lady sings

As Austria’s Conchita Wurst belted out her Eurovision power ballad Rise Like A Phoenix, the Twittersphere lit up with calls for the song to feature in the next Bond movie. And why not? It has all the required elements. Rousing lyrics, a soaring melody, dramatic instrumentation. But let’s not stop there. Why not make Conchita…

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A statement from the International Boxing Federation

It has been brought to our attention that an unauthorised heavyweight boxing match was held in the streets of Bondi on Sunday afternoon. We wish to make it clear that this was not a fixture sanctioned by the International Boxing Federation or any other reputable boxing association. The participants, James Packer Punch and David Caveman…

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Not so fast, Amal

My brother broke the news to me when I mentioned a particular space movie, outside my usual genre of choice. “You’ve heard the latest?” he asked. “No,” I said, ignorant of the bombshell that was coming. “He’s engaged.” And cue detonation. Until last weekend, there were three certainties in life: death, taxes and George Clooney…

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One sport we should abort

There wouldn’t be many of us who got through the Easter weekend without overdoing it on the chocolate. Then there’s Matt Stonie. He ate 100 Peeps. In 130 seconds. OK, so reading that, I worried it was going to be a story about an insatiable cannibal, not knowing that Peeps are in fact marshmallow chickens…

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The venerable sport of Gwynnie bashing

As the whole world now knows, Gwyneth Paltrow consciously uncoupled from hubby Chris Martin yesterday. Unlike other people who do this kind of thing in their sleep. For many of us it confirmed the suspicion that, consciously or otherwise, Gwynnie is not entirely coupled with reality. There’s the naming of the first-born after a computer…

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The Oscars: If only costume design was a Winter Olympics sport

It was a night where Australia stood proud, scooping Oscars in three categories and all but finishing South Africa in the Third Test at Newlands. We’ll save the cricket for another day, maybe tomorrow at the rate we bowled over the Proteas, and focus on Hollywood’s big night. And so to Aussie film glory. Catherine…

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Oscars picking competition, anyone?

As the bright young things – and not so bright, or so young – get their final waxes, body wraps, facials, fillers and frock adjustments, I invite you to take part in the annual lottery that is tipping the Oscar winners. I offer my tips below. Let me know yours before the show. Best Picture…

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Disturbing developments at Eurovision

When you turn on the telly and see men in skirts, a lesbo pash, a lot of mediocre dancing, mullet dresses a go-go and acres of big hair, it can only mean one thing now that Big Brother’s no longer on the air. But from the outset, there was something faintly disturbing about this year’s Eurovision….

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