Aussie tennis bromance sours

It was probably only a matter of time before Australia’s tennis bad boys turned their ill-trained weapons on each other. The surprising thing is that it’s happened in the one forum where they’re supposed to be brothers in arms. The Davis Cup. A game away from going two sets down to John Isner in a…

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Rio, we have a problem

First up, this week’s roll call of disaster from Rio de Janiero. With Olympics tickets selling slower than a Sunday driver, Rio Mayor Eduardo Paes has told spectators not to bother buying tickets to the rowing. “Do not spend your money on this,” he says. “Go watch at the border of the lagoon, drinking your…

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Farewell Lleyton

We’d primed ourselves for an epic finish in the wee small hours. But it was not to be. Just before 10pm on Thursday night, the curtain closed on Lleyton Hewitt’s stellar tennis playing career. It was not the five-set marathon that has defined so much of the past two decades. David Ferrer had his measure…

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The Aussie Open on a ground pass

Having a kid changes the way you watch live tennis. Pre-progeny, I’d hunker down in Rod Laver Arena all day, working those neck muscles left, right for hours on end, me and 15,000 people getting into the soporific rhythm of summer tennis. You’d have time to study the nuances of the game, the tweaks players…

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On the road for Lleyton

First, to explain the 24-hour delay in this week’s Friday Funnies. It’s Lleyton Hewitt’s fault. On a day when I’d normally be posting the week’s sports highlights, my daughter and I spent nine hours in the car fanging our way to Melbourne for Lleyton’s farewell. A marathon drive diminishes your capacity in many key areas…

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A night at the Fast4 tennis

I’m a purist. I don’t like stuffing around with tried and tested formulas. Fifty-two types of Tim Tams? Just give me the original, thanks. The latest Star Wars? Ain’t going there. I also like to see innovations widely road tested before I jump in. For at least a few years. Which means I was one…

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A weekend for the Aussie toilers

Eddie Jones may not have had an epic record in the four years he coached the Wallabies but he’s just become the talk of the Rugby World Cup. The boy from Burnie presided over the feel-good story of the year — for everyone not going for South Africa, that is, which would be most of…

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Kyrgios has an absolute Barry Crocker

Forty odd years ago, before he started crooning the Neighbours theme song, Barry Crocker was the unlikely lead in an irreverent flick about an Aussie lad on the loose in England. In The Adventures of Barry McKenzie, Bazza cuts an ocker swathe through the local women and the poncy establishment, always with a can of Foster’s in his…

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At last, a new Lleyton Hewitt emerges

This story contains predictions of the next Aussie tennis legend. Please touch timber before reading. For 18 years, Lleyton Hewitt has almost single handedly held Australian tennis together with his scrambling court play, never-say-die intensity and impassioned ‘C’mon’s. There have been encouraging cameos from the likes of Matthew Ebden, James Duckworth, Peter Luczak and Chris…

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The Ashes: God save our Mo

There are so many ways we could begin today’s entry. Whitewash would be a good word to start with. Annihilation. Massacre. Humiliation. Thrashing. These are all excellent words and certainly apt for the occasion. Perhaps we could take a lead from the Barmy Army and break into song, with something subtle like ‘five-nil’ repeated over…

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London Olympics: Aussie hoighloights Day 5

I woke to carnage. When I went to bed last night, the Poms had finally bagged their first gold medal out at Eton Dorney. That was bad enough. But by the time I got up, they’d dug up another, thanks to Bradley Wiggins and his infernal time trial prowess. Worse, the Poms had moved ahead…

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