Rio’s Olympic organisers thought they’d seen the worst that circumstances could throw at them. Then they came face to face with Kitty Chiller. Australia’s chef de mission bears a passing resemblance to Mr Bigglesworth, Dr Evil’s cryogenically frozen cat of Austin Powers fame. And can be just as scary if suitably provoked. Which she was…
Tag: Vladimir Putin
Where’s the cheese, Eurovision?
One question, Eurovision. Why so serious? All these years, you’ve been so gloriously chintzy, with your sappy songs and your wind machines and your over-the-top costumes and your out-of-step dancers and your quest to corner the world sequins market. But this year, there was a distinct lack of cheese. The homage to fromage was notably…
Kyrgios missing from bad boy contest
Grigor Dimitrov and Bernard Tomic were duking it out this week for the mantel of baddest boy in tennis, a hotly contested title these days and strangely lacking Nick Kyrgios in recent days. Playing in the final of the Istanbul Open, Dimitrov made abstract artworks of three racquets to concede the match to Argentinian Diego…
The egos have landed
His fiefdom is rife with corruption, he himself is under criminal investigation and two World Cup bids get stinkier by the day. But according to Vladimir Putin, this is all good reason for FIFA president Septic Bladder to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Yes, in Vlad’s mind, Septic deserves the same honour that has…
From Russia with love
The World Anti-Doping Authority set the kot among the golubi this week with its report outlining systemic doping in Russian athletics. The accusations required a calm, rational response. What we got was the head of Russia’s anti-doping agency, Nikita Kamaev, who sounded like he’d been dipping into the banned substances himself. “I reckon some must…
Would the last person to leave FIFA please turn out the light?
Here’s a picture of FIFA’s executive boardroom. Yes, it would probably be right at home on a Star Trek set. But the point is, it’s empty. You see, after a night of the long knives wielded by FIFA’s ethics committee (sorry, that phrase still cracks me up), there’s no one left to run the joint….
Battle of the boofheads
If we’ve discovered one thing from the Adam Goodes episode this week, it’s the dumbest person in Australia. It’s been a hotly contested tussle. Some of the comments put forward wouldn’t look out of place in a Miss Universe pageant. But from the primordial slime has emerged a clear winner. Come on down, Griffin McMaster….
Friday Funnies: Putin declares war… on yoga
We know how much Vladimir Putin loves his sport, whether it’s riding horses, carving up an ice hockey rink, throwing blokes to the judo mat or generally being a manly man. But it seems there are some physical pursuits Vlad just can’t abide. Gay sex, for one. And yoga. Now you’d think someone with the…
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