Sod off, Dan Carter

If there’s an upside to the Rugby World Cup final, it’s that we’ll finally see the back of Dan Carter. Yes, it’s true New Zealand breeds rugby players like sheep. And there will be others to plug the gap. But Carter’s precision boots won’t be easy to fill. Indeed, we may never see his like…

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Rupert’s conversion on the road to Twickenham

Somewhere in the past week, Rupert Murdoch has become a rugby union fan. While I don’t follow his Twitter feed religiously — there is food to be digested after all — I’ve never known him to tweet about sport. Yet since Monday, there have been three in a row about rugby. Including one sticking the…

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Wallabies’ lucky World Cup escape

A couple of minutes short of full-time and I was ready to call an end to our Rugby World Cup campaign. We were two points behind a Scottish outfit that had just intercepted yet another errant Wallabies pass to score what looked like a match-winning try. Time was fast running out. We were all over…

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Wallabies channel their inner Gandalf

I’ve got my annual health check on Wednesday. I could probably cancel it. Because the Wallabies’ game against Wales is as rigorous a heart stress test as you’ll get anywhere. There we were, six points ahead with 20 minutes to go. The Welsh had thrown the kitchen sink at us but hadn’t broken our line….

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What Ashes?

How big a plonker is Danny Cipriani feeling at the moment? He’s the English rugby player who said not one Wallaby would make it into England’s World Cup  side. Coming from a bloke who didn’t make it into the England side. “England’s players know what they can do,” said Danny boy in the lead-up to…

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Aussie women to the rescue

It was Maggie Thatcher who once said: “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.” And so it was left to our Aussie women to salvage some national pride on the international sporting stage over the weekend. Frankly, I didn’t think it could get any worse than…

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The elephant in the room

              I hear that in a land of old Disaster’s struck the green and gold A two-Test flogging, so I’m told Don’t look at me to facts unfold I will not mention the cricket.   You cannot make me, I’ll resist No matter how much you persist This issue,…

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How about a Nobel Prize for Sport?

In recent days there have been Nobel Prizes handed out for physics, chemistry, medicine, literature and peace. But not sport. Never sport. In the 113 years since they started bestowing these lofty awards on ‘those who, during the preceding year, shall have conferred the greatest benefit on mankind’, not once have they named a Nobel…

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Solved: the hex of Eden Park

This is Eden Park in Auckland. It’s a nice enough footy field. But it’s only a footy field. So why is it such a graveyard for Aussie rugby dreams? What are they spraying on the turf that makes it so Wallaby repellent? It’s 28 years since Australia beat the All Blacks on this ground, or…

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Harry Potter and the Unseen Game of Rugby

As the Wallabies took the field on Saturday night for their encounter with Les Bleus, Harry Potter was growing gills for his next challenge in the Tri-Wizards Tournament. Foolishly, I had agreed a week earlier to allow my progeny to watch the Goblet of Fire instalment without first checking the sports calendar. I thought I…

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A complaint about offensive television broadcasting

The following is an open letter to the Australian Communications and Media Authority: Dear ACMA I wish to complain about the offensive content that lately passes for television programming. I understand from your website, which is a bit of a circus to navigate by the way, that in the first instance I should take up…

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