Don’t mess with Mr Bigglesworth

Rio’s Olympic organisers thought they’d seen the worst that circumstances could throw at them. Then they came face to face with Kitty Chiller. Australia’s chef de mission bears a passing resemblance to Mr Bigglesworth, Dr Evil’s cryogenically frozen cat of Austin Powers fame. And can be just as scary if suitably provoked. Which she was…

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You’re not in the same league, Eddie

The big question for me this week has been: is there a bigger plonker on the planet than Eddie McGuire? Turns out there is. Meet ESPN sports commentator Stephen A. Smith, a bloke who makes Eddie, with his let’s-drown-a-female-journo-like-it’s-Salem-in-the-1600s, look like a feminist. When NFL star Ray Rice knocked out his partner in an Atlanta…

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A new Low in scratch ‘n’ sniff

We’d barely recovered from the sight of former Aussie prime minister Kevin Rudd eating his ear wax on a lazy day in Parliament. Then Germany’s soccer coach did this. Joachim Low has apologised for the tug and sniff manoeuvre he pulled off during his team’s Euro 2016 win over Ukraine. “It was adrenaline and concentration….

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Long jumper freezes out the Zika threat

You’re an Olympic champion keen to defend your title. But you’re worried the Zika virus might harm your future procreation plans. What do you do? You freeze your sperm, of course. While Zika has prompted a number of athletes to pull the pin on Rio altogether, 2012 Olympic long jump champion Greg Rutherford has discovered…

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All stops to Loserville

It was a week for throwing away certain victories, Dutch cyclist Steven Kruijswijk most of all. Three minutes in front going into the final weekend of the Giro d’Italia, all he had to do was stay on the bike. Then this happened. The mishap paved the way for Vincenzo Nibali, struck down with dysentery days…

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Trump tries sports diplomacy. Fails.

Donald Trump tried to be nice to someone this week. It went spectacularly wrong. Trying to thank Colin Montgomerie for playing at one of his golf courses, Trump unwittingly trolled the Scottish golfer. @montgomeriefdn Colin, great to have you at Trump Turnberry. So proud of you and your GREAT playing! You made winning MAJORS look…

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Whistle blower admits Russia full of dopes

When it comes to doping, the Russians make Lance Armstrong look like a weekend pill popper. As the World Anti-Doping Agency decides whether Russia can compete at Rio, the bloke who ran Russia’s anti-doping lab has spilled the beans on a systemic doping program that operated during the Sochi Olympics. Here’s how it worked. Dope…

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Where’s the cheese, Eurovision?

One question, Eurovision. Why so serious? All these years, you’ve been so gloriously chintzy, with your sappy songs and your wind machines and your over-the-top costumes and your out-of-step dancers and your quest to corner the world sequins market. But this year, there was a distinct lack of cheese. The homage to fromage was notably…

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Can things get any worse for Rio?

Brazil’s economy is tanking more than Bernie Tomic, the country’s infested with Zika-bearing mozzies, the water’s putrid and a stack of Olympics-related construction won’t make the deadline. Now, less than three months out, Brazil has just lost its president to a corruption scandal, with Dilma Rousseff suspended while she faces trial for creative budget accounting….

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Kyrgios missing from bad boy contest

Grigor Dimitrov and Bernard Tomic were duking it out this week for the mantel of baddest boy in tennis, a hotly contested title these days and strangely lacking Nick Kyrgios in recent days. Playing in the final of the Istanbul Open, Dimitrov made abstract artworks of three racquets to concede the match to Argentinian Diego…

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Leicester paints the town blue

Leicester is not a glamorous city, perhaps best known as the place where a dead king was found buried in a car park. And not a great king, revered and all conquering, but Richard III, whose controversial reign lasted as long as a modern day Australian prime minister and ended just as bloodily. Said king…

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Bloopers aplenty in Olympic countdown

It’s been all about the countdown this week as we notched up 100 days to the Olympics on Wednesday. Michelle Obama celebrated by getting in some fencing practice with the US team, which looked more like an audition for the next Star Wars movie. The force is strong in this one. The Independent newspaper marked…

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