If I was Chris Gayle’s missus

There are celebrity kids out there called Apple, Blanket, Pilot Inspektor, Audio Science, Princess Tiaamii (not an actual princess), Zuma Nesta Rock and Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen. The names are a scandal. But at least they’re not derived from an actual scandal involving one of their parents. Enter Chris Gayle, groundbreaker in all the wrong…

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Did aliens steal Spieth’s Masters mojo?

Much to English cricketer Ben Stokes’ relief, Jordan Spieth has been the talk of the sporting world this week. In particular, how he squandered a five-stroke lead and an almost certain US Masters victory in one hole. It was a novel way of marking the 20th anniversary of Greg Norman’s epic Masters choke, when he…

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Show me the money!

The West Indies won both the men’s and women’s World Twenty20 cricket trophies over the weekend. The men took home $1.6 million in prize money, the women $100,000. I’d like to know which bright spark in the International Cricket Council thought it was OK to pay the women just 6.25 per cent of what they…

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Abbott’s hardline surfing policy

You’re 17 years old. You’re surfing at Noosa Heads. It’s Easter. The last thing on your mind is politics. And then some dude drops in on your wave, the cardinal sin of surfing. He’s wet-suited like a seal, also marginal behaviour in these balmy Autumn waters. It’s your former Prime Minister, Tony Abbott. While she…

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What World Twenty20?

Virat bloody Kohli. He sledges like an Aussie, so much so he could probably earn an honorary place in our team. But in his latest outing, he let his bat do all the talking. It was a lethal conversation, at the end of which Australia was no longer in the World Twenty20. Since then, we’ve…

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Gentlemen, start your motor mouths

It’s taken 15 years for the Indian Wells tennis tournament to put a racism row behind it. With the Williams sisters ending their boycotts, the tournament was finally able to shake the memories of Serena being booed throughout the 2001 final and trophy presentation. It was a moment to celebrate. Then tournament boss Raymond Moore…

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Adam LaRoche and the pitfalls of father-son bonding

Baseball and babysitting. Not two words you’d expect to see in the same sentence, except: “Would you mind babysitting my brood while I go to the baseball.” But the retirement of an ageing major league baseball player last week has triggered an unlikely child care debate in the US. Chicago white sock Adam LaRoche took…

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FIFA plays the victim card

You’ve got to hand it to FIFA. Soccer’s ‘governing’ body has finally admitted that World Cups have been bought with bribes. But only because there might be a buck in it. In perhaps its most brazen step to date, which is saying something, FIFA is claiming ‘victimised institution’ status and seeking restitution from the US…

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Does Russian sport have a reading problem?

“What should Russian athletes do?” asked Russian sports minister Vitaly Mutko. “Dance on the table? Sing a song?” Mutko was pondering aloud what Russia has to do to gain admission to the Olympic track and field competition after the world athletics body extended its ban over last year’s doping scandal. With Russia’s 2012 Eurovision entry…

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Sharapova’s Cinderella story unravels

When Maria Sharapova alerted the media she was making a ‘major announcement’, most of the speculation was that she was about to retire. And she kind of was. The Cinderella story of the world’s richest sportswoman has quickly unravelled since she revealed she flunked a drug test. When the clock struck midnight, that was the…

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Matildas sound the perfect Peter Allen tribute

If Peter Allen’s hit song I Go To Rio doesn’t make it back into the Top 40 this week, I’ll eat my maracas. This year marks the 40th anniversary of the celebrated ditty from the bloke who, no matter how far or how wide he roamed, still called Australia home. I’ve been thinking of a…

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Aussie tennis bromance sours

It was probably only a matter of time before Australia’s tennis bad boys turned their ill-trained weapons on each other. The surprising thing is that it’s happened in the one forum where they’re supposed to be brothers in arms. The Davis Cup. A game away from going two sets down to John Isner in a…

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