“Australia was a little bit offside.” Interviewed for the ABC TV program Played, this was how FIFA boss Septic Bladder explained Australia’s failed bid to host the 2022 World Cup. Which suggests Septic needs a crash course in the rules of soccer. Because you have to be on the actual field of play — and,…
Tag: Sepp Blatter
From Russia with love
The World Anti-Doping Authority set the kot among the golubi this week with its report outlining systemic doping in Russian athletics. The accusations required a calm, rational response. What we got was the head of Russia’s anti-doping agency, Nikita Kamaev, who sounded like he’d been dipping into the banned substances himself. “I reckon some must…
Rupert’s conversion on the road to Twickenham
Somewhere in the past week, Rupert Murdoch has become a rugby union fan. While I don’t follow his Twitter feed religiously — there is food to be digested after all — I’ve never known him to tweet about sport. Yet since Monday, there have been three in a row about rugby. Including one sticking the…
FIFA’s problems solved. Honest.
Stop everything. I think I’ve found the new FIFA president. With candidates falling like flies ahead of the February 26 vote, caught up in corruption probes of their own, there has emerged a person with exactly the qualities you’d expect in the boss of soccer’s ‘governing’ body. Here are some of his recent quotes —…
Would the last person to leave FIFA please turn out the light?
Here’s a picture of FIFA’s executive boardroom. Yes, it would probably be right at home on a Star Trek set. But the point is, it’s empty. You see, after a night of the long knives wielded by FIFA’s ethics committee (sorry, that phrase still cracks me up), there’s no one left to run the joint….
FIFA goes into crisis management mode
It’s the news we’ve all been waiting for. FIFA boss Septic Bladder is under criminal investigation. In the scheme of the shenanigans that passes for football administration, it’s not the biggest misdemeanour we’ve heard about. But it embroils the key players of soccer’s ‘governing’ body — Septic himself and the bloke who, until now, was…
Six stupid words from Sepp
Here are the six most stupid words uttered this week — and it’s not even something Donald Trump said. Nope, it’s Septic Bladder. Now, I know the president of soccer’s ‘governing’ body has said some dumb things in his time, from the tightness of women’s shorts to the possibility of World Cups with aliens, but…
Battle of the boofheads
If we’ve discovered one thing from the Adam Goodes episode this week, it’s the dumbest person in Australia. It’s been a hotly contested tussle. Some of the comments put forward wouldn’t look out of place in a Miss Universe pageant. But from the primordial slime has emerged a clear winner. Come on down, Griffin McMaster….
kazblah 